Steps to a Painting: Ocarina of Time


One of the first gaming systems I ever played as a kid was an N64. My sister and I would battle each other at Super Smash Bros, or take turns playing Super Mario 64, but the first game I can remember being completely engrossed by is Ocarina of Time.

The music! The adventure! The battle against good and evil! I loved it. It was the first real adventure game I ever played, with a huge, highly complex and detailed world for me to explore. I talked to every villager, explored every corner, and did every side mission. And of course, I learned every song.

Link playing ocarina

I went on to play many Zelda games that followed, but I’ll always have a special brand of nostalgic love for Ocarina of Time. Because of this, I’ve built up a small collection of antique ocarinas. My prized one is, of course, a blue one with gold accents that most closely resembles what a real-life Ocarina of Time may look like. I decided to do a fun, quick little painting of it, and here are my results:

Ocarina_MeganKoth (1000x783)

Ocarina by Megan Koth, Acrylic on Canvas, 13×11″ . Prints, tees, and more of this HERE!

I’m currently decompressing after graduating with my BFA, so I just needed to paint something fluffy and fun. Having the ability to create cool stuff to decorate your walls can be pretty awesome, I realize!

*Prints and more available on my new Redbubble store! 


Phx Art Museum’s “The Art of Videogames” – Lots of Games, Not so Much Art

Banner videogames exhibit

We all have passionate interests that we begrudgingly realize will likely never converge into one explosion of awesomeness. Ice-cream and prime rib. B-movies and ballet. Two of mine are art museums and video games. So, I was pleasantly surprised when I heard about the Art of Video Games exhibit curated by Chris Melissinos at the Phoenix Art Museum. As a longtime lover of video games, I was really excited to see an entire exhibition that would highlight the incredible artistry that goes into making games. I expected to see rare concept art, maybe some beautiful screenshots, details of the creative processes of designers, and probably some playable  demos. Unfortunately, I was actually a bit disappointed with what it ended up being.

I think a more appropriate title of the show would have been “The History of Video games.” It felt more like an informational exhibit you’d find in a place like the Smithsonian (which is, I think, what the exhibit was originally for), aiming at an audience of people entirely unfamiliar with games. Most of the exhibit was comprised of individual TV screens  representing each generation of game systems spanning 40 years, adding up to over 20 systems. With each system is a TV screen showcasing 4 games, showing gameplay footage with an audio commentary about the game’s mechanics, story line, developers etc. If you’re already a gamer, the information presented is mostly common knowledge, but it was really cool seeing it all presented in such an organized, chronological way, and seeing some of the footage made me all nostalgic. But the commentary never really went into much about the development of the game itself, which I would have been more interested in.

As predicted (and promised) there were also some playable games, one of which being indie-darling Flower on a generously sized screen. There was also a short film of interviews with developers and industry insiders. There were only a handful of pieces of concept art. Which was disappointing, because you’d think that an exhibition in an art museum focusing on the “artistry of videogames” would show more of, you know, the artistry of the people who make a huge volume of beautiful art to make these games possible:

TheLastofUs Concept1

2013’s The Last Of Us concept art


Concept art for Mirror’s Edge

I mean, I understand and respect that Melissinos would want to present the games themselves as the “art” of the exhibition, but why not show people who may not realize just how much “traditional” art making techniques go into making these games so striking and beautiful  some concept work or sketches? Or show us famed Silent Hill composer Akira Yamaoka doing his thing, for instance. Overall, there wasn’t really anything in the exhibit that you couldn’t find on YouTube or Wikipedia, or that most gamers wouldn’t already know. But if you’re unfamiliar with the medium, it’s certainly a good place to start! Or, if you’re a gamer in the mood for some nostalgia-fuzzy feelings, it’ll be a real treat. Hopefully Melissinos expands his “baby” to include more of what I had been itching to see. All the great designers, concept artists, character artists- they all deserve to be singled out and recognized for their talent and vision, which in the end mostly gets “lost” in the final product.

For Phoenix natives, the exhibit is up until September 29th. 

Sexism in Games

Reading this article on Cracked had me thinking about why it’s so hard for some people to acknowledge when something may be fundamentally wrong or unequal about one of their favorite hobbies. I’m not really much of a comic book reader, but I am a pretty “well-played” gamer. Sexist portrayals of women in games always seemed like something so unflinchingly obvious to me, I couldn’t fathom how anyone could argue otherwise. Being a woman who that plays primarily adventure/action/shooter games means that most of what I play assumes that I’m male. Most of the avatars in the games that I play (and in games in general) are male. Games, even still, are made mostly by (straight) men for other straight men, although things are thankfully starting to change. But lots of people seem to have a favorite argument against others decrying female representations like this:

Ivy is kind of a cheap shot at this point, however. Most of the female characters in the games that I play don’t look like this. But, people’s favorite counterargument to this seems to be to cry “double standard! the men in games are idealized too!”

Those arms just look stupid.

Yes. Yes, they are. However, they’re male characters made by men for other men. It’s a false equivalency. I think I’ll use a game that I played the hell out of as a teen, and that was also wildly popular, Resident Evil 4, to illustrate my point.

This is the main protagonist of the game, Leon S. Kennedy. Notice how his body is very much an idealized male body:

He’s a good looking guy. I recognize this. However, the game isn’t made in such a way as to expect me, as a straight female player, to ogle him as a sexual object. No lingering camera pans to his crotch and/or ass, no gratuitous shirtlessness- I don’t even get to check out his butt when I control him:


So, there’s really no evidence that he, as a character, was designed to be sexy with a female player in mind. In fact, his idealized form more likely has to do with making him look like a competent police agent/zombie killer. If he looked like a normal, non buff, doughy dude, he wouldn’t be believable as the action hero he is in the games. He wouldn’t be a desirable character for the player to inhabit in the game. His idealized body has much more to do with establishing his competence as a fighter rather than with establishing him as a sexy chunk of man meat.

Now lets look at Ashley Graham, your companion for much of the game and the main female protagonist (Ada, being only in a few scenes, is more of a secondary character.)

She has a pretty idealized female form. Small waist, big boobs, short skirt. These, in and of themselves, aren’t offensive. Plenty of women have small waists, and/or big boobs and wear short skirts. I don’t even really have a problem with her complete lack of fighting ability- she is a civilian after all. What makes her presentation sexist is in how the game is constructed in such a way as to present her, voyeuristic-ally, to the player as a sexual object. For instance, she can’t climb down ladders for some reason (probably because it would take annoyingly long) so you, as the player, have to frequently catch her from some sort of precipice. This gives you a pretty clear view up her skirt, so much so that the designers of the game went through the trouble of incorporating dialogue of Ashley responding to this.

You have to watch her character go through that animation so. Many. Times. Even though I had no interest in seeing it- I had no control over the camera panning over to her every time she had to descend a cliff/ladder or whatever. It was dumb and unnecessary.

Speaking of dumb and unnecessary, there’s the small chapter of the game where you have to play as Ashley and solve some puzzles and kill run away from some zombies/enemies crawl under tables and dodge some enemies by falling down, which, again, shows more upskirts.

There are other instances in the game where the camera pans and lingers on her breasts, characters directly address her ample chest in dialogue, etc. This all establishes an assumed (straight) male gaze of the player. One is constantly reminded “hey, just in case you forgot, this character is sexy. Look. Look at how sexy she is.”

It just made me roll my eyes every time I played- I just thought it was stupid, but I’d come to expect this as a (straight) female gamer. I just saw it as the crap I had to wade through to get to what was an otherwise fun game. It was a constant reminder that this game wasn’t made with me in mind or really, with anyone of my gender in mind. And I had gotten used to that. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized how problematic this apathetic attitude was, and how problematic it was that I had grown kinda sorta okay with it. I no longer think it’s unreasonable for game developers to acknowledge that I exist. And honestly, this kind of juvenile, stupid stuff in these games is why people continue to not take games seriously as a medium- it gives them ammunition. This wasn’t a b-movie of a game- this was a critically acclaimed title. But this kind of stuff would not fly in a critically acclaimed film. I love games. I love them so much that I think they can do better, and I want them to be better.

And I realize this is kind of an old game, being a last gen game and all. I just used RE4 as an example because I’m very familiar with the game (having played through it like a million times), and it showed very clearly the differences in the idealization of the male vs female characters. THIS is the difference. I don’t know of any game that features a male character that exists solely (other than being a loose plot device) as something for the player to ogle in the way Ashley and countless other female game characters. Imagine if an action game featured the typical ripped space marine protagonist- only he was wearing tight bicycle shorts instead of cool armor, that highlighted his bulging crotch. The camera frequently pans to his crotch bulge, and you, as the player, have no control over this- you’re subjected to many unnecessary glimpses of his ample crotch. The fact that this sounds so ridiculous and funny with a male character, but is standard and expected with a female one, is exactly what I’m talking about.

Steps to a Painting: Silent Hill 3

While the overall mood to Silent Hill 2 was that of abandonment, melancholy, and restrained use of blood and rust to provide the player with a sense of dread and unease, Silent Hill 3 accomplishes this by dialing up the blood/rustometer to 1000. Some fans of the Silent Hill series think Silent Hill 3 was a bit of a disappointment compared to the gaming demigod that is Silent Hill 2, but I love both games, for different reasons.

What’s most immediately noticeable about Silent Hill 3 is that it features the first (and so far only) female protagonist in the series- Heather Mason!

I really liked Heather as a character and protagonist- she’s cheeky, sarcastic, and pretty normal. It was nice to play a (comparatively) normal person in a Silent Hill game, after *Spoiler* playing as a dude that smothered his sick wife to death with a pillow in the previous installment. By all appearances, Heather is a normal teenaged girl, seemingly swept up in a series of random, nightmarish events. I won’t get into too much detail about the story, but basically, Heather is beckoned to the eerie town of Silent Hill by the frightening religious cult that resides there, and who are intent on her serving as a “holy vessel” to birth their nightmarish ‘God.’

I found this scenario to be profoundly disturbing, and also refreshing because it’s a uniquely feminine fear- to have something evil, unwanted, growing inside your body that you have no control over- that is surviving off of you. The way that the game repeats this theme throughout , through environments, motifs, and of course, the monsters, is also fascinating and is what people love about the Silent Hill series.

For instance, some environments of the game are seemingly designed to be womb-like. The walls in the “nightmare” environments (every environment in the game has a parallel nightmare version of it) often pulsate and writhe.

image via Gaming Update

Hospitals are a major motif:

And, of course, the more literal. Try to imagine that as anything other than a gaping vagina. You even have to jump down into it to fight the final boss.

Wallpaper courtesy of Parrafahell

Around the time that I played Silent Hill 3 for the first time, I painted this:

-Megan Koth- Sinister Womb- 2008?

I took the main theme of the game that I found so frightening- the idea of a womb festering something evil and destructive. I used acrylic- mostly fluid acrylic, to complete this painting. Playing Silent Hill just makes me want to play with red, rusty colors- so I used those in abundance. I tried to make the painting look womb-like, and the cobalt “crosses” in the painting are reflective of the religious themes of the game. I only realized this later on, as I didn’t include them intentionally at the time I painted this. I did start the painting with Silent Hill in mind, though. I also included some found objects, including some (fake) fingernails in the upper left. For a long time, this was seriously my favorite painting of mine. Looking at it now, I still like it, but more in a nostalgic way. Then again, that’s pretty much the best way any artist can feel about a painting they did in high school.

Exploring the world of Silent Hill is a real (creepy) delight. I highly recommend checking out the series if you can find a used copy of Silent Hill 3 (or 2). It’s critically acclaimed for a reason, people! They’re especially delightful if you enjoy puzzles. These aren’t “move this statue to find something behind it” puzzles we’re talkin’ about here. They can be really challenging and bizarre. Like, “somehow I have to accomplish something with this wax doll and a strand of hair I found in a box with like 1000 locks on it.” That kind of puzzle.